Tuesday, January 3, 2012

unforced rest :: whispers

{via pinterest}
sometimes, it's good to be restless. it's good to pulse and feel and breathe.
but sometimes, you have to close your eyes.

i'm bad at resting.

even when all i should be doing is leaning back, eyes closed to recover, i don't want to stop. i want to keep tossing, keep turning, keep moving and doing until i'm thin as paper and torn into shreds.

and right now i'm sick. and i should be focused on recovering, tucking my chills under a quilt with a steaming mug of tea and a brand-new book. and t i'm snuggled under these blankets with tea and Hell's Kitchen and fluffy pillows, but oh, my mind is fluttering in a thousand directions.

why can't i rest?

so close your eyes
you can close your eyes.
:: it's alright :: 

how many times does He say be still

it's important to Him that i rest, that i be still and know. and yet, it's not important to me. is that not such a horrible slap in His face? what matters so much to Him means nothing to me? 

{via pinterest}
it makes me sick to realize how foolish i can be when my eyes go on me and dart to the lists instead of closing to serenity for His whispers of 

courage dearheart
breathe deeply, daughter.

because this Lion's song is what i should be singing, instead of this thudding drum of 
go now 
go now 
go now 
go now. 

it's this restless mind, this broken spirit that aches to overcompensate. 

i strive too hard to fix my own mistakes instead of sitting in His hand and listening to the whispers that linger past the storm, the wind, the fire. 

i must rest
in these unforced rhythms 
of grace. 

8 comments:

  1. Another beautiful post!


    I am hard at resting. I ALWAYS have to have something to do, and when I don't, I feel bored. I feel like I am a bad mother or a bad wife because I am taking time to rest. I should be cleaning, spending time with my daughters, cooking, or doing something else. I know now that is only Satan trying to get me down and lose my focus on God and resting in him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think resting is one of the bravest acts. To not do something is much more difficult than action : our action, our doing, our controlling. Blessings as you rest.
    ps : excited to hear about your book proposal!

    ReplyDelete
  3. ditto ditto ditto! rachel, did you honestly dig through my mind and pour out what you found in there for all to read on your blog? ((JUST KIDDING!)) But honestly I do feel like a constant Martha who is steadily, fall by fall, learning to take a moment's rest and become a Mary. it surely isn't an easy task, but i know that rest can come for us both if we decidedly lean on HIM more!

    lean on HIM, REST and get better soon, dear one! =)

    ReplyDelete
  4. ah, sometimes when we need it the most, He simply forces it upon us. we are so stubborn, are we not? (speaking to myself here, too) this culture makes it hard. we have to be so intentional in taking our rest.
    praying for you as you rest, take care of yourself, and hope you are feeling well soon.
    steph

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rest and stillness are hard for me, too. As soon as my eyes pop open in the morning, my mind is already racing.

    I like what Janae says here in the comment box, how she calls rest a brave act. Yes, yes, it is...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wrote about a similar topic today. Always stunned by the way he speaks in the silence when I finally stop the swirling inside. Hope you feel better soon and enjoy the time to rest.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Always beautiful, reverent words here. And I just love your site, Rachel. It feels like a warm cup of tea and home and good art all woven together with your heart and His heart----I feel welcome.

    Love,
    Erika

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have so much trouble resting, too. I feel I must always be accomplishing SOMETHING.

    So your post really spoke to me ... and I appreciate knowing I'm not the only one that struggles with being still!

    ReplyDelete

I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon