Wednesday, November 16, 2011

peace in the soon


i'm at peace with wanting.
{via pinterest}

i have my little list, tucked in a place where only He and i can find it when the time is right. and sometimes, we pull it out late at night, my King and i, and we laugh and we weep together over this little scrap of paper. 

my Love knows my list, too, but he doesn't understand it fully. he listens when i can contain it within myself no longer, and i pour my soul like water over us both. and he comforts me then, as best as he knows how.

but i think no mortal can understand another want unless they want it too, and just as badly. 

it's tricky to find this place of wanting and having without stepping over into this dangerous place of 
my will be done. 

there is a strange darkness in this place where we blow out the Fire and shiver by self's candle instead. and i've learned that it's not worth it to cross this line. 

and so i learn to wait and cling to the hem of His robe, knowing that i am safe when i stay at His feet and softly whisper
Thy will be done. 

who knew it was so hard to wait? 

and sometimes i find myself looking into that mirror and beating my fists on the walls and begging for the now and not the then. and then i must stop, because i am waiting on me and not on Him anymore. 

because His wait is not as hard as mine. because it's strength renewing and wing-giving. 
{via pinterest}

and He takes delight in blessing His children with good things. 

wait is not never. wait is only this -- wait. and soon

and so i find my place in this thickly woven cosmos, and remember that i am seen and i am known by the One who made and placed me here. 

 and i curl into His arms and wait for the rain. 

i am at peace with this thing of wait. because wait doesn't mean never. 

it means someday. it means soon. 

for He calls all time soon. 


{linking this moment with my King along with Laura; also, over at the "Write It, Girl" project}

5 comments:

  1. This is perfect. I love that you have a secret list that only He and you know about...so sweet.

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  2. As always, beautiful. and a good reminder to myself to be still and wait upon Him.

    "because wait doesn't mean never."

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  3. *sits with you quietly and offers a gentle hug* while we may not be waiting for and wanting the same things, i know what it's like to want. i know what waiting is like. the fact that you are at peace with the waiting is an exhortation to me...because i am still trying to find that place. i feel like...it comes and goes. that peace. so i must always be vigilant in searching for it and staying with it.

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  4. Oh how your words have touched my heart today. I have a few "waits" on my secret list today. My strength comes from Him in the waiting.

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  5. "and so i learn to wait and cling to the hem of His robe, knowing that i am safe when i stay at His feet and softly whisper
    Thy will be done.".

    ---your words pierce my heart. i have been in prayer for about 3 years in one specific area of my life. and in the waiting, God has been so patient with me. in the waiting, I have longed for Him like never before. but also in the waiting, the pruning has been deep. hurtful. hard.
    today though, God is saying now. and in this moment I am overcome by grace. it is just as you say.

    thank you so much for sharing this. truly, I am blessed!

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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon