Wednesday, October 19, 2011

warring stillness

{via pinterest}
the Lord will fight for you. you need only be still. 
~exodus 14:14

i found my calm this morning.

for a while, i thought i had left it amid hot glue guns and satin ribbons and sand-covered programs, all tumbled together on the other side of the United States. 

the chaos of this entire past week was a breathtaking, beautiful rush akin only to the crash of a salty ocean wave. it swept me under in a glorious swell.

but then i found myself tossed ashore and breathless again. 

this mantra of Love that i have chanted for a week is pounding into my head like a oceanic roar, perhaps to the point of being numbing.

if i'm not careful, i could lose myself in this battle. i feel the hilt of my own sword of self digging into my palms. this fight i'm carrying alone...the one i forbid those i love to undertake with me. 
{via pinterest}
i can do this myself. 
i can be strong. 
i promise i can. 

but then i awoke this morning. a strange feeling mixed with the tension that i have and yet still carry atop my shoulders.

i'm still tense. i'm still overwhelmed. but i have found a scrap of calm amid this noise. 

perhaps it is the unstopping of my own ears...letting the chaos trickle out and the silence replace the gaps. 

and so now i will sit and let my Lord fight. my sword is down and my fingers, ringing with battle clash, are shaking with the rest that comes after the storm. 

and i will be still now.

i will drop my trembling fingers to brush against my denim-clad legs and breathe slowly again. 

inhale. 
exhale. 
repeat to survive. 

now let go and fall

into His stillness.  


{linking this imperfection with emily today}

9 comments:

  1. too many times i have tried to fight that battle alone...none of us were built to do it but we feel for various reasons we must...maybe to prove something to our selves or others...or protect ourselves...but we cant do it...we need Him and we need other...peace to you in your surrender...smiles.

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  2. Those words... treasures to keep heart close.
    Thank you for this beautiful reflection.

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  3. i love that verse you quoted so much. it has been my companions many, many times. be still. hold your peace. i really can't do it on my own. at all. and yet so often i try, only to find myself exhausted and wounded. i just need to continually remind myself...there's Someone who will always fight for me. i just need to be still.

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  4. That is such a powerful verse and I am glad you posted it. There must be something big going on for you to toss and tremble and to cling to the strength that the Lord is giving you - Heavenly Father, you are our sole provider and strength! I lift Rachel to you, for you to carry safely in your hands that you give her the deep calm that nothing else in this world can give. Thank you, Amen!

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  5. this is the gift of discernment, yes? knowing when it is time to let the Lord fight for us...

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  6. the Lord will fight for you. you need only be still.
    ~exodus 14:14

    So difficult, to give up our will and let another fight for us. But, to let the Almighty do our fighting and still not trust? There is something wrong with us, isn't there?

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  7. Beautiful. The breathing, the living, the resting. Thanks for the reminder. ~janae

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  8. oh friend. so often i do too much on my own. if only i could just let myself sit and rest, as you are doing. thank you for this inspirational post.

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  9. my hubby has preached this passage a few times... "fear not, stand still, go forward!" that God of ours!! (did you take these beautiful pictures?)

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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon