Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Witness

We need a witness to our lives...in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything..you're saying 'your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness'. ~Shall We Dance

People ask me all the time: "So, how's married life?"

This question is one of the most impossible quandaries to answer. Because, honestly, the truth is not what people are looking for when it comes to this question's complicated answer.

They want you to tell them that everything is wonderful, and has been nothing but roses and sunshine since the day you said "I do."

If I told you that, I'd be lying.

Marriage has been one of the hardest things I have ever undertaken. In fact, until a couple of days ago, I don't think I've even fully understood this cacophonous symphony we call "matrimony."

I think God decided that it was time that I had my eyes opened...and everything that I thought I knew about marriage changed dramatically right before my eyes. In the long run, it wasn't even that big of an issue; important, but not life-or-death.

It was last night when I finally realized that I had been going about my marriage all wrong. I had been looking to my husband to fill my heart up and meet my needs without fail...and in the process, Jon's heart had been forgotten.

For the past couple months, God had been trying to turn my eyes away from myself and back onto my husband's aching heart. However, I had been so lost in my own selfish, myopic world that it took something frightening to snap me back into focus.

In a way, I am Jon's only earthly witness to this life we share together.

I am his partner and his other half.

God created me to be Jon's helpmate, his bride, and his companion from the moment we said "I do" until one of us passes from earth to eternity.

I will be his witness...

...hand in hand, from this day forward.

Marriage isn't perfect, to be sure. There will be bumps, heartache, and loss. It takes sacrifice, selflessness, and unconditional love.

It's hard...

...but there will also be love, life, surrender, joy, and precious moments.

It's worth everything.

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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon